Betrayal
by tmtcltb
Summary: Alisha Granderson's thoughts in the moment after her confrontation with Kelsi. [SPOILERS for Episode 4 - Tropic of Cancer]


Tears rolled down Alisha's face as she lay, unable to move, every millimeter of her body screaming in agony. But somehow even the excruciating pain she was experiencing was not enough to stop her from thinking, remembering, analyzing every second of her life over the past two years.

 _It was all a lie_.

Another surge of agony cascaded through Alisha, but she recognized that this one was weaker. Her body was already beginning to give out, growing cold and numb as more and more blood gushed from the gaping wound in her abdomen. She knew that she was not going to survive this time. Back in Baltimore she was lucky, the bullet avoiding most major organs and Danny and Carlton's first aid skills sufficient to stem the bleeding in time. This time would be worse, both because of the scar tissue from the prior injury, and because the cut wasn't clean. No, Kelsi shoved the knife in as hard and as deep as she could, her intent to cause the maximum damage. And even then, her actions still less painful than her words.

 _"For a while there, I thought I loved you, but you and me, what we are - that doesn't even matter."_

Unable to tear her eyes from the picture of her and Kelsi, the one that used to hang on the wall and now sat sideways on the floor, glass shattered, Alisha wondered what deity she must have offended in a past life.

 _What could she possibly have done to deserve this? To be betrayed not once but twice by those she held dearest?_

What Amy did, what she planned to do, what she wanted Alisha to help her do…even now, anger at her mother's treachery burned within Alisha so ferociously that she would have screamed herself hoarse if she had breath in her lungs.

When, on the heels of her mother's betrayal and suicide, Alisha learned that Sarah was gone, lost to the virus while Alisha was in the Arctic planning her proposal, any spark of hope that Alisha had for the future died as well. Instead, taking her cue from Master Chief Jeter, she threw herself into work, devoting her efforts to the Navy, repaying the crews' unwavering support the only way she could.

 _Until she met Kelsi and the old dreams were resurrect._

For the first time in years, Alisha _wanted_ to go home. She looked forward to the weekends, even took a vacation for the first time since the Nathan James left for the Arctic so many years ago. Paris was out - still dealing with the fallouot of Ruskov's nuclear warhead - but the Swiss Alps remained beautiful and pristine, the small cottages and handmade chocolate perfect for a romantic getaway. Every step of their relationship felt so natural, _so right_ , as though it were meant to be. She introduced Kelsi to Kara, and the three of them indulged in spa days the way she and Kara planned back in the Arctic. Alisha and Kelsi babysat for Frankie, Alisha hiding her smile as Kelsi fumbled tho pick up the exuberant preschooler, imagining that someday it might be their own child who Kelsi was carrying.

But now, with the benefit of hindsight, Alisha could see the holes in the perfect facade. Their original meeting, when Kelsi "accidentally" picked up Alisha's coffee, a story that Alisha found delightful of the time, imagining that Kelsi was simply too shy to approach her directly. Now it merely felt orchestrated. The way that Kelsi was always taking pictures of them at Navy events, something that touched Alisha, one of her biggest regrets being how little evidence there was of her life with Sarah. What was Kelsi attending to capture in the background? Even Kara commented on how many questions Kelsi asked, suggesting that she might not be cut out for life as a Navy wife, before noting that she herself hardly fit the mold. Eyes burning from the tears that were rolling down her face unchecked, Alisha wondered how much research Kelsi did before that day in the coffee shop, how much planning she did to make sure that she could worm her way into Alisha's life.

 _Not that it had been hard. Alisha was only too willing, her joy at the possibility of a second chance blinding her to all else._

Her vision fading, Alisha could no longer make out the picture of her and Kelsi.

 _A lie. All a lie._

Alisha barely registered the slam of the door against the wall, the flash bang and shouting that followed. It was only when Master Chief Jeter leaned down, taking her hands in his, that Alisha understood.

Her lips curled. "You got my message."

Her text to the Master Chief. The last one she sent before walking in the apartment door. The security measure she had hoped would be unnecessary, only to be proven so very, very wrong.

"We came as soon as we could, Commander," the Master Chief replied. Alisha thought she felt somebody pressing on her stomach, but she was too numb to know for certain. Either way, it was too late. Too much blood, too much pain.

"She sent the file in a picture. When I figured out what she did, I tried to stop her, bring her in," Alisha replied, noticing how faint her voice was, how quiet.

His grip tightened. "We know, Commander. We know you had nothing to do with this."

"She works for Tavo. Devoted, she said we needed an awakening..." Alisha's eyes drifted closed, her mind wandering to those days on the Nathan James. Before the deaths. Before the fighting. Back when the worst challenge she faced was getting her mother to stop being rude to her girlfriend. This was what she wanted to spend her last few minutes on this earth remembering, not the other. But something was nagging at her, something important. With a force of will, Alisha's eyes opened. "She told me once that her family had a cabin in Howey-in-the-Hills. I remember because the name was unusual. Look for her there."

"We'll find her. You just focus on recovering."

Alisha tried to take a breath, gasping and coughing as instead of air she found blood. Now even the Master Chief's face was fading. No matter what he said, they both knew that she was dying. "I'm sorry. I should have know."

Master Chief Jeter's voice was gravelly. "You have done more than you know, Commander. I speak not just for me, but for all of us, when I say that you have never acted less than honorably, putting your duty to your country first. Whatever Ms. Commons may have done, no one here blames you _."_

 _No one here blames you._

As his words sunk in, Alisha felt a sense of peace. Five years ago the Master Chief said those same words, and Alisha hadn't believed him. Not until Danny appeared, then Gator, then Carlton, then Kara. All of them _worried_ about her. None of them angry. None of them blaming her for what happened.

 _This time Alisha believed him._

Because Kelsi was wrong. Who Alisha was _did_ matter. And her family, the one forged through tragedy and triumph on the Nathan James, would never doubt her, never leave her, never blame her. And they sure as hell wouldn't let Kelsi get away with destroying the country that they all loved.

Alisha wished she had the energy to smile.

 _Take that, Kelsi._


End file.
